I'm Getting Tired of This

Last night I went sailing, but I didn't bother to jot anything down. I figured I'd just relax and see how things worked out. The murder rate was rather high again, and I accomplished absolutely nothing as a result. I ended up leaving the game due to being aggravated, but I can't blame my mood solely on Sea of Thieves. After all, I was grumpy in general and that never helps things.

In short, I decided to run a few Merchant Alliance voyages. They're generally pretty straightforward, and if they call for gold animals they can be incredibly profitable. The first voyage called for two black chickens, which is simple enough. I weighed anchor and sailed from island to island, finding no chickens anywhere.

When I finally did find an island with chickens, I dropped anchor, did a quick scan of the horizon, and waded ashore. Some skeletons spawned (and, oddly, kept spawning) which distracted me from the task at hand. As I ran to and fro on the beach hacking skeletons to bits, a galleon with fancy paint, sails, and figurehead pulled up next to my sloop and let fly a deadly broadside.

Not only did these blasts hit my boat, but they also hit me. Between damage sustained fighting skeletons and the cannon blasts, I found myself aboard the Ferry of the Damned pretty quickly. Returning to my ship on respawn, I discovered a pirate steering my sloop. What is it with these people?

I gave him a dose of my blunderbuss, but he survived. He drew his sword and, leaping around like a marine kangaroo, killed me. I found myself aboard the Ferry of the Damned once more. When I respawned, it was on a distant island with a new boat. Obviously, my sloop had been sunk and my chicken cages lost, forcing me to abandon my search for black chickens.

I certainly hope the galleon's crew had fun, because I thought the whole experience sucked. I'd hate to think they might've been disappointed by finding nothing aboard my ship worth stealing.

After abandoning the Merchant Alliance voyage, I figured I'd hunt for treasure with a Gold Hoarder voyage. It ended up with four maps, which I quickly identified and marked on my map. I headed west and dropped anchor near the first location. It was a small island and the treasure (a Seafarer's Chest) was easily located.

After I'd placed the treasure aboard my ship, I noticed another sloop heading my way. I dropped sails, weighed anchor, and was on my way as quick as can be. The other sloop fired a cannon at me, hitting once and knocking a hole in the back of my ship. I adjusted sails and ran away as best I could, but the other sloop decided to follow me.

This lasted quite a while, with me trying to outdistance the sloop. I did put some space between us, but it didn't last. Up ahead a storm was brewing, so I steered in that direction. Maybe I could lose them in the storm. With little else left to do, I grabbed an eye of reach (a sniper rifle, for all intents and purposes) and started taking pot shots at the other boat's crew.

I don't know if I hit anyone (I doubt it), but they must've had a crack shot aboard. The guy handily picked me off despite the rolling waves, rain, and distance.

After an obligatory wait aboard the Ferry of Souls, I returned to my sloop. Someone from the other ship was aboard, and they'd dropped my anchor, grabbed the piddly little Seafarer's Chest I'd found, and were in the process of returning to their own ship which pulled off and left me with a few cannon shots to remember them by. I patched the holes and bailed the water, then gave chase.

I can only assume I followed them because I was irked at losing the only thing of value I'd found in nearly an hour's play time. Maybe I could roll up on them while they docked at a nearby outpost and give a few of their cannonballs back to them, or I could sneak onto the island, find them, and chop them up. Neither plan was realized. I found myself watching them weigh anchor and head back out to sea from the beach of the outpost.

It was at this point I decided I wasn't really in the mood for Sea of Thieves any longer. Playing the game solo is hard enough, but when everyone out there is out for your blood, it makes it even more difficult. I don't think I'll be throwing in the towel just yet, but I'm moving in that direction.

Avast!

My Son Got Ganked

Maybe it's a mistake, but I let my son and daughter try Sea of Thieves out. They are both enjoying it immensely, though my daughter gets stressed the moment she has something of value aboard her ship. She's worried someone is going to kill her character and take it away. This is a reasonable concern, and I often share a similar sense of dread once I've accumulated a good amount of loot.

My son was playing last night, solo in a sloop, and came back to port to sell what he'd found. As he did so, a galleon pulled into port. Immediately, one of the galleon's crew swam to my son's boat to see if there was anything worth stealing. My son, being the good-natured fellow he is, followed the guy aboard and said, "How's your day going?"

The guy muttered something in response before murdering my son's character. Afterward, the rest of his crew boarded and took what little loot my son had left aboard: a Castaway's Chest and two Foul Bounty Skulls. Probably about 300g worth of loot, if he was lucky. So, in the end, a group of guys killed his character and stole the least valuable stuff you can find in the game.

As my son respawned aboard his sloop, we could hear the sounds of his anchor being raised. They were stealing his ship. He respawned right behind the guy at the wheel and my immediate suggestion was, "Shoot that jerk in the back of his thick head." Thinking on this for a moment, my son nodded and did just that.

The guy, wounded, let go the wheel and turned around as his friend (who had been raising the anchor) appeared on screen with cutlass at the ready. One of them (not sure which at this point) starts saying, "Don't shoot! Don't shoot! We're just 'borrowing' your ship for a bit."

So, suddenly, the guys who ganked his character and stole 300g in loot are asking my son to allow them to use his sloop for "a bit."

My son doesn't respond. Instead, he goes into the player menu and scuttles the boat, then jumps off and waits for his mermaid to spawn. Meanwhile, Dorkbeard and his first mate get to experience the ship sinking. I assume they had to swim back to the outpost (where their galleon was still docked), as they weren't far enough away to warrant a mermaid.

What boggles me is that they kill him, steal his stuff, then they ask him to not kill them so they can use his ship. Where is the logic there? I suppose by asking nicely (following virtual murder and theft), rather than killing him on respawn, they were hoping to gain his cooperation rather than risk him sinking his own boat. No way, man. You want a sloop, log out and get your own.

My boy was pretty easygoing about the experience. He's such a mellow kid. Just his question when the guy boarded his ship in search of valuables, "How's your day going?" is entirely in character for him and far more friendly than anything I would've said. Had I been in that guy's shoes, looking over the measly haul in my kid's hold, I would've answered, "Great, thanks for asking," before jumping off and returning to my ship.

The next time I play, I think I'm going to forgo voyages and just look for other boats. I'm going to get as close as I can and engage them in conversation and see how many of them kill me on general principles.

Captain's Log: Introduction

So I'm playing this Sea of Thieves game, and I've enjoyed it (for the most part) so far. The PvP aspect isn't really my cup of tea, so I tend to avoid people as best as I can. That said, it seems like the majority of the people playing the game are intent on destroying other players and sinking their ships, despite the fact that it accomplishes nothing and wins them no awards.

I can understand trying to steal other people's stuff, sure. The game has the word "Thieves" in the title, right? But I suppose when you give someone a hammer, everything (including my ship, parked off a remote island, with no one aboard) looks like a nail to them. I dub those people dweebs, and this blog is (at least indirectly) about them.

I've had a couple of what I might call normal interactions with folks. In one instance, some guy (who had apparently just spawned at an outpost) came to me and asked if I knew where he could find some cannonballs. I told him he was free to take any of the ones I had stored on my ship, but he was too conscientious to do so. Heck, I rarely use my cannons at all unless I'm shelling skeletons on the beach.

The second normal interaction was with a bloke who was selling his stuff at an outpost. We came across one another and paused. He pulled out his blunderbuss but didn't immediately shoot me dead (a rarity). In response, I waved. He waved back, then we both went back to ferrying treasure from our ships to the island.

See? Civilized behavior.

Conversely, there was a day early on in my sailing career when I pulled into an outpost. Another ship was docked nearby. Before I could even get off my ship, someone had boarded it and emptied a blunderbuss into my face. Instant death.

When I respawned, the guy (still on my boat, spawn-camping) shot me dead. And again after that. He had his microphone on and was singing (in a dorky teenage voice) "I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. Think about it every night and day..." as he gunned me down in cold blood aboard my own vessel.

But what I really love is when someone aboard a ship sees me and gives chase, cannons blazing. I tend to sell my booty regularly, so it's rare for me to have more than one valuable item (skull or chest) aboard my ship unless I've gotten particularly lucky. It still amazes me, though, how much time they'll spend trying to sink me, especially when I've got either nothing worth stealing or something incredibly meager (such as a crate of fine sugar) aboard.

In those cases, I actually feel somewhat accomplished if I can keep them busy chasing me for a good long while. They're wasting their time while I'm actually (silently) trolling them.

So that, in a somewhat larger nutshell than I intended it to be, is what this blog is about. I'll likely update it as I play, and if I can get footage or pictures of the various dweebs that haunt the shipping lanes, I'll post it here with an account of their dweeby behavior.

And before you say, "Wait a moment! If you play Sea of Thieves, you're agreeing to be chased down, attacked, spawn-camped, and griefed by said dweebs." And you'd be correct on that account, and I am in no way complaining about the game. I'm merely documenting the amazing behavior of society's best and brightest video gamers.

Like as not I'll post a few entries and then get distracted and stop entirely. If so, enjoy what comes along, conscious of the fact that every post you read could very well be my last.