22.4.18

Captain's Log: Introduction

So I'm playing this Sea of Thieves game, and I've enjoyed it (for the most part) so far. The PvP aspect isn't really my cup of tea, so I tend to avoid people as best as I can. That said, it seems like the majority of the people playing the game are intent on destroying other players and sinking their ships, despite the fact that it accomplishes nothing and wins them no awards.

I can understand trying to steal other people's stuff, sure. The game has the word "Thieves" in the title, right? But I suppose when you give someone a hammer, everything (including my ship, parked off a remote island, with no one aboard) looks like a nail to them. I dub those people dweebs, and this blog is (at least indirectly) about them.

I've had a couple of what I might call normal interactions with folks. In one instance, some guy (who had apparently just spawned at an outpost) came to me and asked if I knew where he could find some cannonballs. I told him he was free to take any of the ones I had stored on my ship, but he was too conscientious to do so. Heck, I rarely use my cannons at all unless I'm shelling skeletons on the beach.

The second normal interaction was with a bloke who was selling his stuff at an outpost. We came across one another and paused. He pulled out his blunderbuss but didn't immediately shoot me dead (a rarity). In response, I waved. He waved back, then we both went back to ferrying treasure from our ships to the island.

See? Civilized behavior.

Conversely, there was a day early on in my sailing career when I pulled into an outpost. Another ship was docked nearby. Before I could even get off my ship, someone had boarded it and emptied a blunderbuss into my face. Instant death.

When I respawned, the guy (still on my boat, spawn-camping) shot me dead. And again after that. He had his microphone on and was singing (in a dorky teenage voice) "I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. Think about it every night and day..." as he gunned me down in cold blood aboard my own vessel.

But what I really love is when someone aboard a ship sees me and gives chase, cannons blazing. I tend to sell my booty regularly, so it's rare for me to have more than one valuable item (skull or chest) aboard my ship unless I've gotten particularly lucky. It still amazes me, though, how much time they'll spend trying to sink me, especially when I've got either nothing worth stealing or something incredibly meager (such as a crate of fine sugar) aboard.

In those cases, I actually feel somewhat accomplished if I can keep them busy chasing me for a good long while. They're wasting their time while I'm actually (silently) trolling them.

So that, in a somewhat larger nutshell than I intended it to be, is what this blog is about. I'll likely update it as I play, and if I can get footage or pictures of the various dweebs that haunt the shipping lanes, I'll post it here with an account of their dweeby behavior.

And before you say, "Wait a moment! If you play Sea of Thieves, you're agreeing to be chased down, attacked, spawn-camped, and griefed by said dweebs." And you'd be correct on that account, and I am in no way complaining about the game. I'm merely documenting the amazing behavior of society's best and brightest video gamers.

Like as not I'll post a few entries and then get distracted and stop entirely. If so, enjoy what comes along, conscious of the fact that every post you read could very well be my last.

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